Pre-recorded Apple shows are at all times a bit unusual. These heavily-produced performances characteristic Apple executives telling us about their latest merchandise as they sprint throughout scenic deserts, or board onto unusual, non-existent subways.
At present’s presentation felt even stranger, although, maybe as a result of it was kicked off with an extended Apple Watch advert that mainly despatched the message of, “Should you don’t purchase this, you’ll die of a coronary heart assault.” We additionally noticed some motion on the always-controversial notch, plus some refined allusions to Roe v. Wade as Apple added new menstrual well being monitoring to its Apple Watch.
After all, this hubbub signifies that jaded tech varieties made some snarky jokes on Twitter. I laughed at loads of them. Listed here are some tweets in your viewing pleasure.
Apple is so dramatic
Yesterday, former One Course member Harry Kinds described why he enjoys his upcoming movie, “Don’t Fear Darling.” He stated, “My favourite factor concerning the film is, like, it seems like a film.”
Kinds received loads of flack for this innocuous quote, however I get it. My favourite factor about Apple occasions is that they really feel like Apple occasions. These graphics are so over-the-top stunning that they virtually make you neglect about their ongoing mission to forestall their retail staff from unionizing. This was very true right this moment, when a lot of the occasion centered round how one can put on the Apple Watch Extremely whereas scuba-diving, ultra-marathon working, climbing Mount Everest, et. al.
The ‘Dynamic Island’
Apple branded its notch substitute — a pill-shaped cut-out — because the “dynamic island.” Apple customers appear divided about whether or not or not it is a good different to the notch. I’m personally a fan, however others won’t stand for something lower than a bonafide full-screen expertise. Everybody appears to agree, although, that dynamic island is a really foolish title. Our {hardware} editor Brian Heater, who attended right this moment’s occasion in individual, informed us that the viewers truly laughed on the title when it was introduced.
I wrote concerning the dynamic island, solely to get ratio-ed by a DailyTech reader. To be honest, this response was fairly humorous. I’m maintaining a tally of you, Joseph.
The Apple Watch Extremely is a bit too excessive
The introductory video to right this moment’s hour-plus presentation included a teenage boy fearing for his life whereas a bear walked round his kitchen, just for his Apple Watch to save lots of the day. It was bizarre. However as Apple launched its extra-hardy Apple Watch Extremely, designed to be used throughout excessive sports activities, issues received weirder.
Then, Apple launched satellite tv for pc SOS, which helps you get to security if you happen to face an emergency whereas off-grid. It’s a really helpful characteristic and a intelligent software of the know-how — however after too many mentions of bear assaults and scuba diving, it felt ominous.
We’re all bored with the lightning cable
The European Union is making legislative strikes to require that every one smartphones use a standard USB-C charger by fall 2024. Some USB-C devotees received their hopes up, questioning if this meant that the iPhone 14 would lastly do away with the lightning cable in trade for a USB-C port. It is smart — iPads and MacBooks alike are working on USB-C chargers, and as Haje wrote in an impassioned weblog put up, “just about all the things that isn’t an iPhone, and Apple Keyboard, or AirPods, is working on USB-C today.” Sadly, Apple didn’t make the massive leap right this moment.
In any case, if you would like an precise recap on what you missed at right this moment’s occasion, take a look at Greg’s roundup.